with a second baby on the way (surprise! to anyone who didn't know... now i'll know who really reads this!) everything we went through with E is coming right back. we've begun the process of getting ready for another homebirth, mainly mentally for now and the one thing we've heard the most so far since sharing the news with our friends and family is this: you're going to homebirth... again?! and the answer is yes. quite simply put: you'd have to pay me a pretty large amount of money to get me to birth in a hospital. surrounded by people who seem to care more about their lunch break than what i want (or don't, for that matter) for my birth. once again, please, let me air out what i'm never able to say - it's personal opinion.
my biggest beef is this: we keep saying we'd do anything for our children. that if needed, we would die for them, give up all we have for their well-being... yet most of us are unable to fathom suffering a few hours of pain to give our children a well-deserved respectful, gentle, humane welcoming into this crazy world. the one thing i hear the most coming from young women around me: just give me the epidural, i want nothing to do with the pain. and sadly, always said with a smile. some even seem to think it's funny to say that if they could, they would get 4 epidurals to make sure they feel nothing. it sickens me even as i write it. birth is a beautiful, natural experience that has been turned into a scene straight out of a horror movie... or so it seems; when i listen to my peers speaking of the pain, the blood, the stools, the screaming, the riping and really the list seems to go on and on and on... it just seems like the most horrible thing in the world. for the past 50 or so years, women have been conditioned into being scard of giving birth. we've completely given up power and handed it over. and for what? more complications, more medicine (who isn't to say that pitocin won't be our thalidomide? who isn't to say that the increasing number of epidurals given and cesarians peformed aren't in relation with the increasing number of children with autism or with ADHD?)
oddly enough, the things i remember most from E's birth is this: bonding with my fiancé, freedom to do what i please in my own home, the comfort of our bathtub, the ability for my body to do the work on its own (no one ever told me to push, that's all my body could bare to do) and being able to birth my child in the exact same place where she most likely made. i'm typing this with tears in my eyes. it was the most empowering, most beautiful and amazing moment of my life... and that's where it's hard for me to understand why someone would want to take that away... from themselves. and leave all the power of the most amazing moment in their lives, to a person they met a few months before (if they are lucky enough to have their own doctors at the birth).
for those who are quick to interpret, hear me out: any mother is happy to greet her child. but i think there is a world of difference between letting your body do what it was made to do, bringing your child into the world with little noise or interuption in a calm, respectful environment and letting modern medicine do everything for you (please - personal opinion. you have yours, this is mine). i'll most likely get into the more medical reasons why i strongly believe in this in another post... some other time. frankly, i could go on and on about this subject (feel free to pitch in) but know this: i don't think i'm better than anyone. i don't think anyone who birthes otherwise is a lesser person than me. i don't think that birthing otherwise makes you a horrible mother nor will it turn your child into a gremlin. i'm not a hippie nor am i uninformed or irresponsable. i just think birth needs to remain the natural, humane thing it's always been instead of the medical, controled event it's become.
this was an introduction to my blog. into my life. i've shared something beautiful and very personal. please, feel free to comment and ask questions but don't be quick to judge.
"when you destroy midwives, you also destroy a body of knowledge that is shared by women, that can't be put together by a bunch of surgeons or a bunch of male obstetricians, because psychologically, birth doesn't happen the same way around surgeons, medically trained doctors as it does around sympathetic women."
- ina may gaskin, mother of authentic midwifery and founder of the farm midwifery center.
eeeeeeeeeeee!!!! congratulations!!!!!! all the best and hope this pregnancy and birth is as perfect as the last!! can't wait to read your posts in the future!
ReplyDeletethank you! please keep coming back... i'll be talking more about this subject but lots of others! feel free to share, also :)
DeleteCongrats on baby #2, how exciting, when's the due date? The whole midwife thing has always intrigued me, but I am really misinformed and should probably read into it. I am assuming they have some medical qualifications of somesort should anything go wrong, etc? At home births are so natural and your baby isn't born in a disease infested hospital :P congratulations again!
ReplyDeletethanks so much, due in late january... still very early in the pregnany but i'm too darn excited to not say anything any longer! thanks for the all the questions and the interest, it's the main reason i started writing... the more i spoke to people, the more i realized so very little people knew anything about natural birth (i realize homebirth isn't for everyone but you can nonetheless have a natural birth at a hospital - more to come on that) but i will deifintely take the time to answer your questions in my next post. you've brought up some great points. quick answer: of course they are trained. doctors giving birth stem from midwifery. at some point in history, men (sucks to be sexist about it, but in this case it holds true) decided to take over birth. we're still functionning on studies that were done in 50's, by men who had and will never give birth. it's like taking photography classes from a person who's been blind from birth. literally. but less scary...
DeleteJ'ADORE!!
ReplyDeleteJ'ai eu mes 2 enfants à l'hôpital, sans péridurale et sans calmants... et je n'en aurai jamais non plus pour tous les autres petits Robitaille qui suivront. Par contre, j'ai été bien chanceuse puisque j'ai eu mes deux terreurs dans des booms d'enfants à 7iles et nous avons donc eu droit à la sainte paix et l'amour en mode famille dans notre chambre. Je trouve que c'est génial de pouvoir être renseignées par une maman qui a vécue l'expérience et qui en tire du positif... surtout si je tiens compte que ma seule connaissance à propos de l'accouchement à la maison avait été pendant le "super-vidéo-des-accouchements" pendant les cours pré-nat! J'me demande par contre comment ça marche (Tu dis dans tes textes de poser des questions quand on comprend pas et je suis ce genre de personne.. je ne laisse rien filer sans être bien certaine de comprendre) Est-ce que ta peanut a passé les p'tits tests qu'ils font passer aux bébés genre ouïe, vue, piqûres pour les maladies etc.? Et si tu accouches à la maison est-ce que ça suppose nécessairement que tu sois suivie par une sage-femme? As-tu eu un suivi en clinique aussi? En tous cas, je ne peux pas poser mes 100 000 questions parce que j'en aurais pour la nuit, mais j'espère vraiment qu'un jour tu te sentes confortable d'en parler et que tu puisses éclairer les autres personnes (parce que y'en a plein j'en suis certaine) comme moi, qui aimerait en savoir plus afin de pouvoir considérer toutes les possibilités qui s'offrent à nous lorsque nous voulons donner la viiiie.
Bonne soirée et surtout mercii, j'adore te lire, c'est rafraîchissant!! :)
hey mama! je me rappel plus si j'avais pris le temps en privé de répondre à tout tes questions mais voici, pour les intreressés, les réponses aux questions... alors donc, oui élie a passé tous les tests, sauf ceux qu'on ne voulait pas. ce qui est bien avec les sages femmes, c'est qu'elles t'informent sans te pousser à prendre une décision. j'ai eu un suivi très complet, qui est très sembable à ce que tu as surement vécu toi aussi. elle venait nous voir à tous les mois, à la maison pour des rencontres de 2 à 4h. j'ai déjà entendu parlé de gens qui accouchent à la maison sans supervision, ce que, honnêtement, je ne recommenderai pas mais bon, chacun ses choix. moi je me sentais très à l'aise avec notre sage femme, qui sera aussi présente à la naissance du #2. j'aimais aussi la certitude de savoir que la personne qui m'a suivi pendant ma grossesse serait assurément à 115% la personne qui m'accoucherait. nous avons aussi, étant donné que c'était notre premier, commencé un suivi en clinique avec un medecin (qu'on appel amoureusement, dr. trou d'cul) qui n'a fait que confirmer le choix qu'on avait fait... j'en parlerai de ce medecin dans un autre post, ça c'est sur!!! on a fait le suivi avec lui jusqu'à la premier échographie. quand on a vu que tou était sous contrôle, on a demandé d'avoir mon dossier, ce qui légalement m'appartient, et nous avons commencé à avoir la sage femme. elle a pu faire le survol des tests qui m'avaient été fait, ainsi que la clarté nucale (ce qui nous avait été presque forçé par le dit medecin) et l'échographie. le suivi de la sage femme était très complet et je n'ai jamais senti de lacune. elle a répondu à tous nos questions, autant phyisque d'émotionel. elle nous a prêté des livres et des films. elle était même à l'écoute de yann. elle venait chez nous étant donné qu'on a pas d'auto. à la fin de la grossesse, surtout vu que j'ai dépassé le 40 semaines, elle venait aux semaines, et après aux 2 jours. je peux faire un post sur le suivi au complet et l'après naissance, car elle est venue nour avoir après pendant les 6 semaines qui ont suivis... c'est un ange, je l'adore et elle sera dans nos vies aussi longtemps possible. on lui parle encore, même sans le suivi de grossesse. c'est une personne incroyable, généreuse, drôle, intelligente, curieuse et oui, très sage. je me sentais comme avec une tante.
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